Being alone is important – in the right doses. We explain why people still shy away from it and what to gain from trying to be alone. Expect to have enough time for 22Bet.
We explain why phases of being alone benefit personal development and offer the opportunity to reflect on yourself and your life.
This can not only bring clarity about how you want to live but also provide the necessary impetus to tackle achieving your own goals actively.
BENEFITS OF BEING ALONE
How exactly can being alone help us to achieve our personal goals? The absence of external stimuli makes reflecting on our life situation possible. These include “Have I achieved my goals?” and “What is important to me?”.
If you notice a discrepancy between your ideas and reality when thinking about such questions, this creates what is known as “cognitive dissonance.” This psychological term is an “unpleasant emotional state caused by incompatible perceptions and desires. It can awaken the motivation to resolve the discrepancy and take active steps to realize one’s goals.
It is therefore advisable to regularly take time to be alone and reflect – without the expectations and opinions of others. It can be helpful to reflect in writing, for example, by writing in a diary or conducting an annual ritual review.
WHY DO MANY PEOPLE DISLIKE BEING ALONE?
“Social judgment” is another reason many people dislike being alone – especially in public. There are social situations in which there is more of an expectation that people will enter them in pairs or groups. A visit to a restaurant is a classic example: could others present ask themselves: “Why is she sitting there alone? Doesn’t she have anyone?” So you have to learn to bend less to this social norm if you want to enjoy being alone in public.
If you still need to go to a restaurant for dinner alone, you can start differently: Going out for coffee is an exception to this social norm, says the expert. “Reading, writing, and working in a coffee house is socially acceptable.”
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING ALONE AND BEING LONELY
The reflections triggered by being alone can, of course, also bring uncomfortable insights to light. But this is not the only reason some people avoid being alone: Being alone is still stigmatized in our society and has negative connotations. People who socialize a lot and spend little time alone are considered popular and of high social status. On the other hand, being alone is often equated with loneliness and exclusion from the group.
However, a distinction is made between being alone and being lonely. Being alone and doing things alone is a basic human need that contributes to developing a person’s sense of independence and self-efficacy at any age. Times of solitude are also important to process external impressions.
At the same time, people need a sense of social belonging. You are only lonely if you feel cut off and “without resonance.”
HOW MUCH LONELINESS IS TOO MUCH
How much solitude is good for a person and when you start to feel lonely is subjective and depends entirely on your personality structure.
According to her, loneliness becomes problematic when it impairs one’s social skills and capacities. Signs of this can be that you find it difficult to adapt in group contexts and when you notice that any attempts at contact by others are too much for you.
These alarm signals can be the beginning of loneliness or even indicate depression. Anyone who “can no longer get on with others and isolates themselves is on the road to loneliness.
