Aza’s 2 Line Review – Snow White & The Huntsman – I Was Totally Jibbed! There’s Not One Huntsman In This At All!

I was hanging all the way through this for our favourite 8 legged friend to pop out of the scrub, behind a shield, from under someone’s dress and scamper across to Snow White and eat her. But no. Not in any moment of the film are there any spiders that even remotely resemble a huntsman. In fact there aren’t any spiders in it at all. Totally jibbed.

And as for Snow White – well she’s got brown hair and has a very unhealthy relationship with a forest.

I felt like a total douche watching this, surrounded by 14 year old girls, going ‘Where’s the spider?’, ‘The inclement temperature in your story setting isn’t condusive to huntsman living there or being able to breed!’, ‘Why does Charlize Theron hate men? Is this Monster 2?’, ‘Shut Up Katy Perry!’ (well some little girls ring tone was that firework song) 

I do have to say, though, I got my own back cause in a quiet moment I totally farted – like really loud – and I had Thai last night! PACHOW! That’s for no spider action.

This public announcement on behalf of Arachnid Admirers everywhere. SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN DOES NOT CONTAIN A HUNTSMAN.