Review: Witness – Katy Perry (2017)

Easily landing the worst release of 2017 (I’m not sure how anything could possibly sink lower in the next 6 months), Katy Perry’s ‘I’ve found swearing so I’m all bad ass‘ sonic bowel expulsion that is Witness is the ugliest piece of garbage mercilessly dumped on us.

Gone is any semblance of the upbeat perky Perry that won her a slew of fans across the globe, Witness is an act of desperation for a clearly creatively bankrupt over-produced singer. There is nothing here the rings true, nothing that has been done a billion times before (and better), nothing that doesn’t suggest Perry is struggling to be a bad ass like all current charting female singers. Surely Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj are in her sights. (The latter appears on one of these horrid undie-scrapers.) But, how is she going to break that glass ceiling from kid friendly teen-pop heroine to crotch-grabbing, jilted, sexualised woman performer?

Her answer is to swear. Repeatedly. Wherever she jam in a ‘bitch’ or a ‘fuck’ she does cause, ya know, she’s so ghetto, yo. It might’ve worked if the songs were even remotely interesting but they aren’t. These are production line pop electro that might’ve wowed you in 2002 but here it’s just flat out laziness.

For an exhausting 17 track playlist that runs just a breath over one hour, Witness relentlessly repeats itself, songs blur into each other and are as forgettable as they are indecipherable from one another. The only real distinguishing features that the album has is its desperation for relevance and its cynicism towards the general public. It’ll just serve up rubbish for the masses to consume.

It’s just rubbish and I’m not spending any more key strokes on it. Be gone, Ms Perry, come back when you can actually write a song and have something to say.

NO STARS

WITNESS by KATY PERRY is OUT NOW.

(Photo by Rich Fury/Getty Images)