Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back All Over These Film & TV Updates (There’s A Bit Of Swearing In Here, Noog!)

  • Will Poutler has joined Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis in WE’RE THE MILLERS
  • ‘What The Fuck Is The Internet?’
  • Richard Dreyfuss has been cast in PARANOIA and VERY GOOD GIRLS
  •  I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you’ll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck [referring to Silent Bob], none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.
  • Angela Bassett has been cast in the actioner OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN
  • The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
  • Derek Luke has been cast in BAGGAGE CLAIM
  • This isn’t fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin’, we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.
  • Robert Baker & Brian Howe are confirmed for Atom Egoyan’s DEVIL’S KNOT
  • All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin’ the movie… we’re gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that’s made up of our shit that we made ’em eat. Then you’re all you motherfucks are next. Love- Jay and Silent Bob.
  • CITY STATE, the smasch Icelandic Thriller, is getting a U.S. remake by the guys that wrote TOMB RAIDER back in 20o1
  •  Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the hizzouse!
  • Genndy Tartakovsky has been hired to direct 3D POPEYE
  • What if they’re creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files… *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the fuckin’ damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won’t spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks’ll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry – *you maniacs*! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell!
  • GAME OF THRONES have digitally removed the George W Bush likeness from Ep 10 Season 1.
  • Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don’t stick you’re finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin’ friend’s brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin’ spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin’ flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out.
  • THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER, the vampire thriller, has its lead offered to Viggo Mortensen
  • Man… I don’t know what the FUCK you just said, Little Kid, but you’re special man, you reached out, and you touch a brother’s heart.
  • You can expect to see the ALAN PARTRIDGE MOVIE in August 2013
  • I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I’m about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.
  • THE BOURNE LEGACY has moved in the States to avoid THE DARK KNIGHT RISES 
  • The C.L.I.T. is an offshoot of the L.A.B.I.A.
  • Hugo Weaving starts filming the Aussie thriller MYSTERY ROAD
  • Oh, you mean the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement?
  • Roseanna Barr is copping the next Comedy Central ROAST
  • Hey look, I’m sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you’re supposed to be doing this week.
  • THE NEWSROOM pulls in 2.1m viewers as its pilot airs
  • I said you LOVE the cock. I must be the craftiest motherfucker alive.