A Saucy Film & TV Update With Quotes From Frank Drebin – Police Squad!

  • Ray Winstone is joining Darren Aronsofsky’s NOAH alongside Russell Crowe
  • It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.
  • Phillip Seymour Hoffman has been offered a role in THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE
  • It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
  • Penelope Cruz has been cast in Ridley Scott’s THE COUNSELOR with Michael Fassbender
  • Just think; next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.
  • Penelope Cruz has also signed up for Pedro Almadovar’s STANDBY LOVERS
  • Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That’s *my* policy.
  • Neil Burger (Limitless) has jumped in to director Dennis Lehane’s ANIMAL RESCUE
  • I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.
  • Chris Hemsworth has landed the lead in the maritime actioner IN THE HEART OF THE SEA
  • Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.
  • Common has landed the lead in the remake of THE MAN WHO LOVED WOMEN
  • Jane, since I’ve met you, I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before… birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.
  • TRUE BLOOD SEASON 5 premiere down on Season 4 opener.
  • Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! My God, he really was innocent!
  • Olivier Megaton (Taken 2) has signed on to direct revenge thriller LAND OF THE LIVING
  • Yes, he’s in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
  • Tonka Trucks are about to be made into an animated movie through Adam Sandler’s HAPPY MADISON productions
  • It’s hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover…
  • E.T. turned 30 yesterday – 30 years of bulbous finger pointing..
  • Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts.
  • Paramount picks up WUNDERKIND and THE DIVINERS as specs for film development
  • I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was.
  • Disney has pitched for STUFF OF LEGEND for feature development
  • The attempt on Nordberg’s life left me shaken and disturbed, and all the questions kept coming up over and over again, like bubbles in a case of club soda. Who was this character in the hospital? And why was he trying to kill Nordberg? And for whom? Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn’t have any proof, but somehow, I didn’t entirely trust him either. Why was the ‘I Luv You’ not listed in Ludwig’s records? And if it was, did he know about it? And if he didn’t, who did? And where the hell was I?
  • MAD MEN season finale hits all time high for the series
  • …Unless he’s a drooling vegetable. But I think that’s only common sense.
  • Oprah Winfrey is doing a 2 part special on the Kardashian’s on her OWN network
  • It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!
  • Ashley Tisdale has joined SONS OF ANARCHY
  • Uh… that’s a pretty tall order, Nordberg. You’ll have to give me a couple of days on that one.
  • RAY DONOVAN and MASTERS OF SEX have been picked up for series at FX
  • It’s fourth and fifteen and you’re looking at a full-court press
  • Alessandro Nivola has joined DEVIL’S KNOT
  • I’m telling ya, the answer’s up there in Ludwig’s office. Call it what you will. A hunch, woman’s intuition. That guy Ludwig knows a lot more than he’s telling us.
  • There’s a new distributor in the Australian market – Regency Entertainment
  • Oh say can you see / By the dawn’s early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight’s last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rocket’s red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night / That we still had our flag. / Oh say does that flag banner wave / Over a-a-all that’s free / And the home of the land / And the land of the – FREE!