‘If You’re From Africa, Why Are You White?’ A Film & TV Update Littered With ‘Mean Girls’ Quotes

  • Jim Byrkit and Alex Manugian (Rango) have been hired to write the new FRAGGLE ROCK movie!
  • Danny DeVito I love your work!
  • Richard Madden has landed the lead in LONG NIGHTS SHORT MORNINGS
  • And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that.
  • Brenton Thwaites has landed the role of the Prince in MALEFICENT
  • I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that’s only because I was acting like a bitch.
  • Mireille Enos has been cast in DEVIL’S KNOT
  • I can’t go to taco bell, I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you’re so stupid!
  • Olivia Wilde joins Rooney Mara in Spike Jonze’s Untitled new film
  • Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.
  • George Lucas is apparently moving away from Lucasfilm to make experimental movies
  • Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.
  • Gary Oldman & Dominic Monahan has joined MONSTER BUTLER
  • My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
  • Anne Hathaway looking to star and produce SONG ONE with her old RACHEL GETTING MARRIED team
  • Now, I’m not gonna do that because we’ve already paid the DJ, but don’t think I’m not taking this book seriously. Coach Carr has fled school property. Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you’re going to get it, right now. I don’t care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
  • Gemma Arteton now on board RUNNER RUNNER with Justin Timberlake and Ben Affleck
  • Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!
  • G.I. JOE RETALIATION delay caused because they killed off Channing Tatum and the film tested really badly
  • She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.