Aza’s 2 Line Review – Halloween II (2009) – Ugly, Borish And Unforgivably Dull. Made Worse By Scenes Of Repugnantly Graphic Violence.

Yeah ok this is 3 years old and it took me 3 goes to get through it and I know why… I knew why when I first tried. I have major problems with this film and I’m going to address them in order of questions for Rob Zombie:

  1. Why do you hate women so much? This films treatment of women is so incredulously misogynistic it’s borderline offensive.
  2. Do you think that spraying a film with scenes of grotesquely brutal violence alleviates massive plot disappointments?
  3. Is it your point to ensure that everyone in the film is totally unlikable? If so, congratulations – you’ve succeeded
  4. Your “White Horse” references and bringing up maternal issues with Michael Myers has awarded you praise from some circles but come on – it’s just another chance for you to make women seem demonic yeah?
  5. What is with the excessively long takes on the kill scenes? The ‘repeatedly smashing the strippers face into the glass window’ that lasts for well over 15 seconds when it could’ve been done once and dusted for 2 seconds only further enhances how boring and laboured proceedings are. The stamping of the guys in… Octavia Spencers brutal slaying.
  6. Have you heard of editing?

There really is nothing and nobody to like in this film. It’s laborious 104 minutes goes nowhere, it’s comatosingly dull and everyone in it are so instantly awful that the only character I sympathised with was the cow at the stage that got killed by the van.

E P I C  F A I L.

Yours Sincerely,


John Carpenter’s Halloween Lover