Hi Loves It’s Aza’s Mum Stepping In For This Film & TV Update

Oh hi pets, sorry to barge in not quite unannounced – Aza is a bit rude like that – he tends to forget where his blessed life began sometimes – but we forgive him cause he’s a big bogan.. Anyways, he’s off today running around the countryside pretending he’s a big shirtless green monster – and I told him I said, ‘Son, listen, the only thing that goes green when you go shirtless is everyone else around you’.. He didn’t listen.. Anywho he asked me to crack out my interweb skills and tell you all some newsy bits from the world of film and tv entertainment.. I’ve just popped the kettle on so I’ll squeeze a few in here then grab a cuppa.

  • SON OF A BITCH spec script has been bought by Warner Bros. It was written by the real Queen of Twitter – Kelly Oxford
  • Aza used to pretend he was Bette Midler out of RUTHLESS PEOPLE between the ages of 9 – 17
  • Nicholas Sparks SAFE HAVEN film adaptation lands Josh Duhamel in the lead
  • Aza didn’t stop wetting the bed till he was like 12
  • Andrew Riseborough and Alexander Skarsgard are locked in for HIDDEN
  • Aza was/is a gifted trombone player. He certainly knows how to blow a mouthpiece
  • Rooney Mara, Joaquin Pheonix, Amy Adams and Samantha Morton are all lined up for Spike Jonze’s new untitled film
  • Aza once had to beat up a girl to get his green belt in karate – it was not a proud day for him… There’s a video to prove it too!
  • Lars Von Triers THE NYMPHOMANIAC will be a two part film
  • Aza stands 5 ft 11 and has double jointed thumbs
  • 47 RONIN, Keanu Reeves 3D hack n slasher, has been moved back to February 2013
  • Aza has an unhealthy obsession with The Smashing Pumpkins, some days I’ve even caught him brooding like that bald guy
  • Mila Kunis is attached to star in the Wachowski’s next feature after CLOUD ATLAS entitled JUPITER ASCENDING
  • Oooh kettle’s ready! I’ll be right back… Oh Delta! What have you done! Oh, Sorry I was flicking through my Who Weekly
  • 1976 Aussie horror flick PATRICK is getting remade with Rachel Griffiths
  • Oh I quite like Rachel, she was in that movie with that other person I like. It was a good movie.
  • Delta Burke hurt herself the poor love and because of it the pilot for COUNTER CULTURE has been canned
  • Oh suck it princess it’s not like you fell down a mineshaft – Geezus some ladies you know, you just need to say ‘Okay, you’ve torn your party dress, but we’ve got a needle and thread and we can mend it and get the show on the road!’
  • Martin Scorsese and Ang Lee both attest that 3D is the future of cinema at CinemaCon
  • Sweet can we then get the ticket prices down to normal?
  • UNIVERSAL has bought the rights to the romantic comedy script THE NO HEARTS CLUB
  • Universal just keeps getting it right!
  • ROBOT CHICKENs next outing is aimed at DC COMICS Superheroes – look out BATMAN!
  • What’s with Christian Bale’s voice when he is Batman? Is it cause he can’t use his nose? Oh that Gary Oldman, woo hot flushes.. Oh come on I’m a well lived lady, I like refinement!
Anyway lovelies, I’m off to get my nightly dose of rohypnol and my atomiser.. Chookas and hugs!
Aza’s mum Geraldine!