Ok I’m Anchormanning My Ass Off To Bring You This Film & TV Update

  • Hey, did you wanna go to the pants party?
  • FIFTY SHADES OF GREY has been sold to Universal and Focus Features for $4m.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. Cannonball.
  • WILD CARD and OVER/UNDER pilots have been cancelled from the USA Network
  • You’ve got a dirty whorish mouth.
  • Australia why are you watching PLEASE MARRY MY BOY? What the?
  • Sweet Lincoln’s mullet.
  • Juno Temple and Even Peters will star in the 1970’s coming of age drama TRUCK STOP
  • I’m in a glass case of emotion.
  • Bob Odenkirk has joined the cast of the motion capture animated comedy HELL AND BACK
  • It’s so damn hot… milk was a bad choice.
  • THE FAULT IN OUR STARS has been optioned by FOX 2000 for feature development. Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber have been set to adapt the novel into a script.
  • Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.
  • Charlie Kaufman’s (Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind) first novel will be published through Grand Central Publishing
  • I’m proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that’s what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.
  • Regina Hall will star opposite Martin Lawrence in his untitled new sitcom
  • Dammit, who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?
  • Melissa Tang has scored a role in THE GOODWIN GAMES, a sitcom on FOX
  • Not so fast, you ingrates. Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials; no mercy.
  • Jai Rodriquez (Queer Eye For The Straight Guy) has landed a role on Reba McIntyres MALIBU COUNTRY
  • You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
  • Kate McKinnon, Jessica Joy, Lauren Lapkus and Elaine Carroll are all in contention to become a regular on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
  • Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live.
  • John Boyega has been cast in HALF OF A YELLOW with Thandie Newton
  • I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke. I even wrote it down in my diary – Veronica had a very funny joke today. I laughed about it later that night.
  • Kenny Doughty has been cast in SNOW PIERCER
  • I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal.
  • Aussie Rebel Wilson has joined Michael Bay’s PAIN AND GAIN
  • I love…carpet. I love…desk.
  • Julianne Moore, Scarlett Johannsen and Joseph Gordon Levitt are looking to star in Levitt’s directorial debut feature comedy
  • Good evening, San Diego. I’m Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.
  • Danny Huston looking to lead up STARZ new TV Series MAGIC CITY
  • Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.
  • Owen Wilson and Zak Galifianakis are set to star in YOU ARE HERE
  • I’m Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded
  • THE REAL ALL AMERICANS is set to become a film directed by Tommy Lee Jones
  • O, I’m sorry champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.